Ever stop and ask yourself, Who am I becoming? Not just in a passing, random-thought kind of way, but in a sit-with-it-and-really-think kind of way? It’s a powerful question—one that can change everything.

Because here’s the truth: we are always becoming someone. Every decision, every habit, every reaction is shaping us into the person we’re becoming. The real question is: Do we like that person?

The good news? If the answer is not really—or even not at all—we can change that. Growth isn’t just possible; it’s part of what we’re made for. So let’s do some honest reflection (the real life hack) and check in on the direction we’re heading.

1. Am I Living in the Victim’s Chair or Owning My Power?

Life can be unfair. People can be unfair. Circumstances can make us feel stuck. But here’s the deal: the moment I start believing I have no control, I give away my power.

Yes, bad things happen. Yes, some challenges are real and difficult. But am I focusing only on what’s happening to me—or am I choosing to believe in what’s possible for me?

You are not powerless. You are not stuck. You are stronger than you think.

2. Is My Personality Helping Me or Holding Me Back?

We all have natural tendencies—some that serve us well, and others that, well… don’t. If I constantly say, That’s just how I am!—but that “way” is keeping me from my purpose—then maybe it’s time for a change.

Your personality isn’t fixed. You’re not locked into old habits or reactions. Growth starts with awareness, and change is always possible. You can build the kind of personality that supports the life you actually want. That’s your superpower.

(And if you’re thinking, “But I don’t even know my purpose yet,” don’t stress—that’s another conversation for another day. You’ll get there.)

3. Am I Stuck in the Past or Focused on the Future?

The past can be a teacher or a trap. It’s easy to replay old successes or failures, but if I spend too much time looking backward, I’ll miss what’s ahead.

Your future is too important to be neglected. The best days aren’t behind you—they’re in front of you. Build on what’s come before, but don’t live there. There is so much more for you.

4. Are My Relationships Helping Me Grow or Keeping Me Stuck?

We become like the people we surround ourselves with. So, are my relationships pushing me forward or pulling me down? Do the people in my life challenge, encourage, and support me? And just as importantly—am I that kind of person for them?

Healthy relationships require investment, but they also require discernment. Don’t be afraid to adjust your circle. Sometimes, growth means letting go of relationships that keep you small.

5. Who Will I Be in 3 Months? 3 Years? 30 Years?

Imagine your future self—three months from now, three years, thirty years. Are you proud of the person you see? Are you on track to become the best version of yourself?

If not, here’s the exciting part: you have the power to change direction. Small decisions today shape the big picture of tomorrow. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be intentional.

Like Michael Jackson said:

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror,
I’m asking him to change his ways…”

The best version of you is not out of reach. It’s already inside you—waiting to grow. So take a deep breath, reflect, and step forward with confidence.

You are becoming someone incredible or you can! Keep going.

“Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.”
— Psalms 126:5-6

I wish life were filled with nothing but happy endings. Wouldn’t that be great? The guy always gets the girl. You buy the winning lottery ticket. You conquer every battle. You ride off into the perfect sunset on a beautiful horse, with the wind at your back and not a care in the world. It’s the stuff of fairytales.

But that’s not real life, is it?

In reality, sometimes the pain feels like it’s winning. The tears seem to come more often than the laughter. You try everything you can, give it your best effort, pour out your heart—and still, it doesn’t work out the way you hoped. The relationship falls apart. The dream dies. The healing doesn’t come. The doors stay closed.

The pain of life is real.

I’ve felt it. I’ve been there—in the dark places where disappointment echoes louder than hope, where grief seems to have the final word. And to be honest, I don’t connect well with people who pretend that life is always wrapped up in neat, happy endings. It’s hard to relate to someone who acts like they’ve never struggled, never questioned, never wept.

Because life is hard. It breaks us sometimes.

And if we’re not careful, pain can do more than hurt us—it can trap us. We start to believe that we are nothing more than our brokenness, victims of circumstances we can’t control. It’s easy to feel stuck, immobilized by heartache, weighed down by disappointment. When that happens, any movement feels impossible. And if we do move, it’s often backwards—slipping into old habits, reaching for temporary fixes to numb the ache, doing whatever we can to avoid feeling the weight of it all.

But here’s the thing: you can move forward, even with the pain.

That’s what gripped me about Psalm 126. We often rush to the second part of the verse—“shouts of joy,” “singing,”—because we long for that. We crave the harvest, the breakthrough, the victory. But don’t miss the beginning. Don’t overlook the tears.

“Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.”

The joy doesn’t come instead of the pain. It comes through it.
The harvest isn’t the reward for avoiding sorrow. It’s the result of showing up in spite of it.

These verses describe people who didn’t wait until their hearts were healed to start planting. They didn’t pause their lives until the pain passed. No—they planted while they wept. They carried their grief in one hand and their seeds in the other. They kept moving forward, step by aching step, with tears streaming down their faces. They didn’t wait for joy to start working; they worked their way toward joy.

And that’s what courage looks like.
It’s not the absence of pain—it’s the determination to move through it.

I deeply admire people who live like that. The ones who carry their grief like a heavy backpack, yet still manage to put one foot in front of the other. The ones who show up, even when it hurts. The ones who keep planting, keep trying, keep believing—not because it’s easy, but because giving up isn’t an option.

Maybe that’s you. Maybe today, you’re doing it with pain. You’re loving your family through heartbreak. You’re working hard while grieving losses no one sees. You’re holding onto hope with shaky hands.

I want you to know this: you are not stuck.
You are not a victim of your pain.
You are moving forward—slowly, maybe—but forward nonetheless.

Your tears are not a sign of weakness. They are the water that softens the soil where your seeds will grow.

So, keep planting.
Keep walking.
Keep believing.

Joy is coming. Not because the pain will magically disappear, but because you’re doing the sacred, courageous work of living through it. One day, the same ground you wept over will burst forth with life. And you’ll sing—not because the road was easy, but because you did it anyway.

Joy comes.
Just keep moving.

When I was a kid, I was convinced I was the fastest person on a bike. I’d fly down the street, neighbors would watch in awe (at least in my mind), and I just knew I was the undisputed champion of my street. Granted, no one else was riding—but hey, a win is a win!

Now, nearly 50, I exercise not to be the fastest, but to be me. I work out to stay strong—not just for today, but for the years ahead.

I love a challenge. I’m competitive. I’m a fighter. And if I’m being honest, I usually think I’m stronger and faster than I actually am. Which, as you might guess, doesn’t always end well. I’ll see someone crushing it on a bike and think, Oh yeah, I can do that too. Then reality hits… hard.

But the older I get, the more self-aware I become. And these three ideas keep me moving forward:

1. You Choose the Hard

Sitting on the couch? Hard. Being out of shape? Hard. Struggling with health? Hard. Riding a bike or lifting weights? Also hard. The difference? Some things you can’t control, but a lot you can. So I choose to embrace the hard that makes me stronger.

2. Set My Sights

What does progress look like for me?

• Can I push 1% past my last effort?
• Can I hit an 8-minute mile? (For the record, I hate running. Current best? 8:47.)
• In my Peloton class, can I crack the top 5%?

Small benchmarks keep me moving forward.

3. Compete Against Myself

I don’t need to be the fastest or the strongest—just better than I was yesterday. One more rep. An extra lap. A little more effort than before.

I’m not here to break records—I’m here to keep showing up. To stay focused. To embrace the challenge. And to get just a little bit better, every day.

My go-to movements? Cycling, lifting, and (begrudgingly) running.

What keeps you moving?

Dreamers, Doers, and Stagnators

We all have dreams. Whether it’s a big career goal, a life-changing personal transformation, or a world-altering vision (like finally finding the perfect parking spot at Walmart), dreams are the fuel that drives us forward. However, not everyone is equally equipped to take action on these dreams. In fact, people tend to fall into three distinct categories: dreamers, doers, and stagnators. Understanding the strengths and challenges of each type can help us better navigate our personal journeys—and figure out how to stop binge-watching Netflix when we should be working on our goals.

Dreamers: Visionaries Who See the End Result

Dreamers are the visionaries of the world. They’re the ones who can see the big picture before anyone else does. Dreamers often live in the future, imagining what could be, and their minds are filled with endless possibilities—like starting a unicorn sanctuary or inventing a device that automatically folds laundry. While we may not all be aiming for unicorns (though, if you’re out there, let me know), dreamers have big ideas that push the boundaries of what’s possible.

“We are limited, not by our abilities, but by our vision.” – Anonymous

But here’s the catch—dreams are just the starting point. Dreamers need wisdom on how and when to share their dreams. Not every idea should be broadcast to the world immediately. Not everyone will get it—there’s a reason why some people said Thomas Edison was “wasting his time” before the light bulb invention became a game-changer. Dreamers need to find the right people to encourage their vision and help them take the first steps toward making their dreams a reality.

Every dreamer needs a doer. And this is where the doers step in.

Doers: The Builders Who See the Path

Doers are the ones who bring ideas to life. While dreamers envision the end result (hello, unicorn sanctuary), doers see the path to get there. Doers are the ones who put in the effort, take action, and focus on the practicalities. They love checking things off their to-do list and are often the ones leading the charge. Without doers, we’d still be stuck in the planning phase, with dreams floating around in the ether like that “one day” trip to the Grand Canyon we keep talking about.

“Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Pablo Picasso

Doers play a crucial role in helping dreamers transform their visions into concrete accomplishments. Every dreamer needs a doer to help them take action, break down the work, and actually do something. And every doer needs a dreamer to remind them why they’re working so hard. Without a dreamer, a doer might just end up mowing the lawn for the 12th time this week… which, hey, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but we could do with a bit more vision.

Stagnators: The Ones Who Are Stuck

And then we have the stagnators. Ah, the stagnators. These are the people who are stuck in a rut, unable to move forward, or paralyzed by fear or indecision. It’s like they’re in quicksand—every time they try to make progress, they just sink further. Unlike dreamers, they don’t have grand visions, and unlike doers, they don’t take action. Stagnators often find themselves in a state of inaction, whether out of fear, uncertainty, or sheer “Netflix and chill” mentality.

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis

Stagnators need a swift kickstart. A little push from a doer can get them moving again. Whether it’s a nudge to finally sign up for that marathon you’ve been talking about for years or help cleaning out the garage (yes, I’m looking at you), stagnators need a helping hand to get back on track. If you’re a stagnator, it’s time to stop binge-watching “how-to” videos on YouTube and actually try one of those tips yourself!

Stagnators need a doer to help them get unstuck. It could be something as simple as organizing a small task or setting a mini-goal. Once they start moving, it’s much easier for them to keep going. Sometimes, all it takes is someone else to show them the way.

Conclusion: We All Play a Role

The world needs all three types of people—dreamers, doers, and even stagnators—because each plays an essential role in shaping our lives and communities. Dreamers provide the vision, doers make it happen, and stagnators… well, they remind us not to get too comfortable sitting on the couch.

If you’re a dreamer, surround yourself with doers who can help you take action. If you’re a doer, connect with dreamers who can remind you of the bigger picture. And if you find yourself stuck as a stagnator, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone who can help you get back on your feet.

Dream big. Take action. And don’t let anything stop you from reaching your full potential.

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier

So whether you’re dreaming, doing, or stuck, remember this: there’s always a path forward. And sometimes, that path is just a phone call away.

Books to Inspire Action and Overcome Stagnation:

1. “The 5 Second Rule” by Mel Robbins – A simple, practical way to overcome procrastination and take action, fast.
2. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear – A brilliant guide on how small, consistent actions lead to big results. (personal favorite) ******
3. “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek – For dreamers and doers alike, understanding the “why” behind what you do will keep you focused and motivated.
4. “Do the Work” by Steven Pressfield – A call to action for those struggling with resistance and procrastination.

Pick up a book, take action, and stop making excuses. You’ve got dreams to make real!