Category Archives: Uncategorized

God is Good?

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God is still good, even when it’s hard to hold on to that truth.

In this season, I’m learning a few things about grief, pain, and God’s presence in the midst of it all:

✨ Presence over perfection – Sometimes all we can do is show up, broken and raw. God meets us there, not in our perfection, but in our presence.

✨ Authenticity over prosperity – Life’s true richness is found in being real, especially when we’re hurting. God honors our honesty, not just our success.

✨ Grief is evidence of our capacity to love deeply – This pain we feel is a reminder of the love we carry. Loss hurts because love runs deep.

✨ Isolation isn’t the answer – It’s tempting to retreat, but connection with others is the way forward, even in the darkest times.

✨ Do it with pain – Healing doesn’t erase the pain. But even through the ache, we keep going, finding strength and meaning in each step.

Through all of it, I’m reminded that God’s goodness isn’t dependent on our circumstances. He’s good in our joy and in our grief. And even here, I believe that.

Transformative Leadership

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Embrace Inward-Out approaches for excellence!

In the heart of my yard stands a slender, 40ft tree. Its branches are not extravagant, gracing the sky with only a few, yet its significance runs deep. This unassuming tree holds a remarkable secret: its strength emanates from within.

This truth mirrors the essence of leadership. Our resilience should bloom from the depths of our being, a strength cultivated within and radiating outward. In the hushed moments, we find solace in our inner bond with God, a wellspring of strength forged in the battles hidden from plain sight. As leaders, nurturing our souls becomes paramount. Just as our core gains vigor, its influence unfurls to the world beyond.

Often, we invest faith in our appearance, talents, and charisma, neglecting that they stand on the foundation of our core. Yet, a robust core births pure functionality. 

There existed another tree by my office—a picture of vitality. Adorned in leaves, it thrived. Then, a storm struck, toppling it from its pedestal. Amidst the clearing, a revelation emerged: the heart of the tree was rotten.

Scripture reminds us, “They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.” (Psalms 1:3) Just as these trees flourish by the river, so do leaders prosper when anchored within, ready to weather any storm.

Let’s remember, it’s from the center that authenticity flows. True leadership starts within, where roots intertwine with character, values, and conviction. When nurtured, this inner strength manifests in a life of purpose, impact, and lasting legacy.

“Finding the Silver Lining: Overcoming Pessimism and Embracing Hope”

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“Pessimism: because why settle for just being unhappy when you can be consistently disappointed by everything? #Sarcasm #Pessimism”


Someone recently asked me if I thought I was more optimistic or pessimistic. Of course, I proudly said, “I’m optimistic!” This got me thinking about the truth of pessimism.


IT’S FREAKING EASY TO BE PESSIMISTIC! Yes, I was yelling… at the HALF-EMPTY cup! The entire culture sets us up to look for the negative. It may just be me, but a negative outlook is a default. Oh wait, that isn’t very optimistic!


So how do we see the silver lining to the DARK CLOUD THAT STAYS OVER MY HEAD? Why Am I yelling? Oh boy!

Heres a few thoughts to overcome pessimism and embrace hope!

  1. Practice gratitude: Make a habit of focusing on the people and things you are thankful for and expressing gratitude for them.
  2. Reframe negative thoughts: When you have a negative thought, challenge it by looking for evidence that supports a more positive perspective.
  3. Surround yourself with positivity: Seek out people, activities, and environments that uplift you and bring you joy.
  4. Focus on solutions, not problems: Instead of dwelling on what’s wrong, concentrate on finding solutions to problems.
  5. Engage in self-care: Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being through activities like exercise, meditation, and hobbies.

“You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can control your attitude towards it.” – Unknown

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? Thoughts?

Are you Inspired?

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Inspiration! 

Most people, when encountered with something great someone else has built, walk away inspired. 

Honest people say maybe I can do it too. 

And they walk away feeling encouraged. 

But watch out! 

Some look at what you have built and say I want it. 

I want what you have, And I will do whatever it takes to take it away from you!

They don’t want to do the hard work of building. They want to reap your rewards.  

When my reality is your dream how do you respond? 

When my dream is your reality, I will honor you and be inspired.  

Who inspires you?  

Dating your Spouse?

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Do you date your spouse? Think about this old verse in a popular song, “You gotta dance with the one that brought you!’ Ok, maybe it wasn’t a popular song but follow the thought. Dating got you and yours to the marriage alter. Dating will help sustain a level of health in your marriage.
Here are a few essentials of a fantastic date night.
Schedule it – everyone is so busy, and we must prioritize the importance of our relationships. Write it down! Send your spouse an invitation. Highlight the calendar.

Anticipate it – talk about how much fun it’s going to be. Send each other messages leading up to the date.
“I can’t wait to spend the evening out with you!”

Protect it – something always comes up. While a few things require you to reschedule, those things must be on a concise list.

Wisdom: don’t try to work things out on date night. Don’t use a date night to end a disagreement. Enjoy your time – plan to laugh, make out, dream, or stare into each other’s eyes. Focus on enjoying each other. You may need a predate night to talk things out.

Here is a great date night idea.
Schedule a trip to a town or city nearby that you usually don’t visit.
Look for a new restaurant and enjoy some fresh surroundings.

When was your last date night?

nogoalsnewhabits

#nogoalsnewhabits

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This time of year is exciting! I think this is the one time of the entire year where change is most widely accepted. I’m sure you’ve seen all the New Year slogans and hashtags… Deck the halls with new resolutions. Tis’ the season to improve yourself. #newyearnewme #thisismyyear #startagain #becomingabetterme  

We all understand our goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. #SMARTGoals. We get it! But easier said than done.

According to History.com, the practice of new year’s resolutions started some 4000 years ago with the Babylonians. They would make 

Promises to their gods to pay back debts and return anything borrowed (BTW, where’s my hedge trimmers?) They would also reaffirm their loyalties to the king.

Same story, new year.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

In January, I’m motivated to achieve my goal to run a marathon this year. (insert any goal here) after running a few feet in January, I say, “it’s too cold to run; I will start running when it’s warmer” (insert any obstacle here.)

By February, life has gone back pre-new year resolution. #tryagainnextyear 

There has to be A better way. 

#nogoalsnewhabits Our habits are what shape us! If we desire a new shape or change, we need new habits! Considering habits, Think “being” over “doing!”  Example: I want to lose weight = doing. I desire to be healthier = being. Think lifestyle over time-frames. Example: Think, “I want to run a marathon this year” Instead, think “I want to be a runner!” 

Develop new habits, see a new you.  

Here is a shortlist of ideas to help you begin to develop healthy habits. 

  • Clarify the new habit. For some ideas, here is a quick link to 192 healthy habits. https://www.developgoodhabits.com/healthy-habits/
  • Start where you are now, not where you want to be later on. You may want to be a runner, but you’re a walker right now. Small gains over some time bring huge returns. 
  • Practice keystone habits. Keystone habits can be defined as “small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives,” according to Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power of Habit. One of the easiest keystone habits is making your bed.  
  • Start new habits rather than stopping bad habits. Think “I want to change my diet” over “I have to stop eating fast food.” 
  • Share your habit with someone. There is power in the community!
  • Consider healthy habits for each area of your life. Spiritual, emotional, relational, financial, and physical. 
  • And most importantly, give yourself grace! We all miss the mark of the change we desire. Don’t give up! Embrace your humanity and keep at it. Someone wisely said, “Just because you miss one day of brushing your teeth doesn’t mean you give up on brushing them until next year!”

Every day you say yes to the new way, the habit you’re trying to form gets more established in your life.

If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up! Share on X

In this together,

SteveNikki

What new habits can you develop in 2021?

Ideas we are taking into 2021

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4 ideas we are taking into 2021. 

I know we are excited to see 2021. And that’s because 2020 was CRAZY. Hopes for a new year and new you quickly turned to hoarding toilet paper. Toilet Paper! Do we know yet what the need for hoarding toilet paper was all about? Crazy moments help us welcome new days. So, we welcome 2021 and say adios to 2020. 

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” ― Rafiki

Here are 4 ideas that we learned in 2020 that we will be taking into 2021. 

Everybody needs somebody. When something is taken away, we then see it’s importance. 2020 has taught us the importance of community. We need each other! We will strive to be givers of grace in all our communities and continue to build healthy relationships. 

A rested you is a better you. Our frantic pace of life can outpace God. It was interesting to see how beautiful our world is without all the hustle during the lockdowns of 2020. I don’t want to be forced to rest in 2021 with more lockdowns. I want to be intentional with my rest and pace of life. #youareblessedifyourest

Simple is Spiritual. There is a place for the deep things of God. But it’s in the simple every day things done well and consistently that cause us to go forward in life, and help us to suffer less. Our spiritual lives are essential to our overall health.

"Hard things ain't bad things!" Share on X

Fun is Essential. “Laughter does good like a medicine.” If there is one thing 2020 has taught us, is that life is fragile. So make it a point to enjoy every single aspect of it. We often try to make a perfect life without any thought about enjoying said life. Embrace the dance even if you don’t dance; Or don’t dance well. Kool & the Gang said, “How you gonna do it if you really don’t wanna dance by standing on the wall? Get down on it!”

“It’s the rain that makes the flowers grow.”

What are you taking from 2020 into 2021? 

Stop Talking About Me!

Faith, General, Uncategorized

Have you ever talked about someone, negatively? Of course, we all have. It’s not one of our finer qualities. Speaking about someone negatively has ruined many relationships. This is a habit that we need to fight and try to do better.

Then I had this thought.

How often do we speak about ourselves negatively? You know that little inner voice that repeats itself over and over. That voice says things like you’re not good, pretty, or strong enough. This voice will remind you all the reason you worry. This inner voice will bring up all your fears. When you mess up in life this voice will say “you’re stupid, you deserve what you get.” “You can’t do that” the voice will repeat. We can be way more critical to ourselves than others.
Speaking to and about ourselves negatively is just as bad as speaking about others.

If we don’t train our mouth, it will naturally drift toward the negative.

You have the power of life and death in your tongue. (Proverbs 18:21)

Famed MLB pitcher now a mental consultant, Bob Tewksbury coaches athletes to use anchor statements to silence the inner critic. This is great wisdom!

What would it look like if we created simple, truthful statements that we can repeat when the inner critic rises up? Statements like…
I am faithful, strong and passionate!
I possess strength, love, and self-control!
I am creative and courageous!
I have ability and live in abundance!
I belong to God! God says I’m worthy, lovable, and enough.
I have everything I need to do everything God wants me to do!

Statements like these are tied to the truth of God’s word and create a sure foundation for life.

Your emotions follow your words!

If we speak truth over our life our emotions will naturally flow toward strength and peace.
If we speak lies and slander over our life our emotions will follow with fear.

Do you have anchor statements that you currently speak over your life? If so, share.

If not, develop a few.

I said to myself, self stop talking about me!

Stronger Connection

Family, General, Uncategorized,

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT

I love the practicality of Paul’s words of encouragement. Don’t worry instead, pray, tell and thank!

Is it really that easy? Maybe we should try and see if it works.

Pray about everything is simply allowing God space in your life. Staying constantly connected.
Tell– This is all about getting to the root of a request. Remove the whining, complaining, manipulation and simply tell God what do you need? Or, what you think you need.
Thank God for what He has already done. Gratitude is the enemy of worry!

I believe Pray, Tell, and Thank helps cultivate a stronger relationship with God which leads to peace (v7).

But wait!

If this simple idea works with our relationship with God, I wonder if it would work with other relationships? Consider your closest relationship may be a spouse, a close friend, or a family member.

What if we created space for others in our everyday, busy lives? What would it look like to strive for a more consistent connection?

We all have needs and request. Sometimes in relationships, we use negative tools like manipulation and criticism to try to get what we need. What would it look like to make a simple request?
I need __________. This seems like it would be easier. However, this would force me to really consider what I need and communicate it but, maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Gratitude is the key to strength in any relationship. Tell someone how grateful you are for them. Get back to the simple, strong words “thank you!” Thank you for loving me. I am grateful that you are in my life.

These ideas could cultivate a stronger relationship with God and each other.

Give it a try!

Growth Plan Part 1

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Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. Benjamin Franklin

Every year we have a new opportunity to revise our plans. At the end of one year, we can look back and examine what worked and what didn’t. Then make adjustments and grow into a new year.

We don’t want to drift into a new year just like we wouldn’t drift down a white-water river. Drifting leads to circles which leads to everything flipping over. Did you see Bird Box? We must be intentional about our growth.

Growth requires a mindset and a plan. In Carol Dweck’s book Mindsets, she describes two basic mindsets fixed and growth.
A fixed mindset assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static which we can’t change in any meaningful way.
A growth mindset, on the other hand, thrives on challenges and sees failure as a springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.

Check out Mindset book here.

Our lives are designed to grow. (Think Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.) God has created us in His image. We have His appearance and his character.
This must be developed.
God has also called us to work and care for His creation.
We are created to bring order to the chaos. We are called to create.
This will require us to grow/learn.

Growth is at the foundation of who we are.

Because we are multifaceted people, consider these five areas for growth.
Spiritual Life
Relational Life
Physical Life (Health)
Emotional Life (Mental Health)
Financial Life (Money-Career)

Let’s grow stronger and better in the new year!

This is part 1 of a series of post about developing a growth plan.

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