Category Archives: Family

“Unlock Your Best Life: 5 Must-Do’s Before Life-Changing Decisions”

Faith, Family, Fitness, General

We all face choices daily, from what to wear or eat to more profound decisions that can alter the course of our lives. Let’s talk about those big life decisions, the ones that demand more than a flip of a coin.

Life decisions are the game-changers, choices that have the power to shape the trajectory of your existence. Before we dive in, it’s worth mentioning that life circumstances, like the curveballs of death or sickness, often come uninvited – we’ll save that discussion for another time.

Your choices shape your destiny. 🌟 #LifeDecisions #EmpowerYourChoice" Share on X
  1. Prayer & Spiritual Guidance: Pause for prayer or seek spiritual guidance. Connecting with your inner self and seeking divine insight can provide peace as you navigate uncharted waters. It’s a moment to find clarity amid the uncertainties.
  2. Core Values Check: Reflect on your core values. What truly matters to you in life? Are your choices in alignment with these values? Understanding your fundamental principles can be a compass guiding you through tough decisions.
  3. Outcome Investigation: Count the cost. Delve into the potential outcomes of your decision, weighing both the positive and negative aspects. How might it impact not just your life but your community? This foresight helps you make an informed decision.
  4. Emotional State Assessment: Take a moment to assess your emotional state. Is fear, stress, or impulse driving your decision? Ensure you’re in a calm and rational mindset before taking the plunge.
  5. Talk it Over: Don’t go it alone. Reach out to trusted friends or family members. Discussing your decision with others can provide valuable insights and emotional support. Different perspectives might unveil aspects you hadn’t considered.

And then, when you’ve done the groundwork, make your decision. Own it. Whether you decide to take the leap or stay put, remember, the power lies in your choice to make it right for you. It’s your journey, after all.

"In the realm of life decisions, emotions can be the navigator or the storm. Take a moment, assess, talk it over with loved ones, and then choose your course wisely. ⚖️ #DecisionMaking #EmotionalIntelligence" Share on X

PSA Cycling 

Family, Fitness, General

Everybody is in a hurry. Speeding tickets prove this. It seems some believe the road is made of lava, and the longer they stay on it, the worse things will be. I get it. I can be impatient. But when it comes to life and death, I think we all should and would choose life. 

So, because I value your life and mine, I wanted to give a little 

PSA concerning cyclists. 

I ride. I cycle. My main exercise activity includes miles on the road riding a two-wheeled, chain-driven, human-powered machine. 

BTW, my name is Steven. I have a family that I love. So that you know, I have three beautiful grandbabies. This is very important because, just like you, I want to make it home safe. 

As a cyclist, I’m not trying to impede your progress of getting off the lava; I’m just trying to enjoy my chosen form of exercise. 

The most important idea you can embrace is that every cyclist has a name and a story.

When you, in your car, come upon me on my bike (cyclist) or a group of cyclist (peloton), here are a few things to do. 

Give me room. Minimally 3 feet, but moving to the other lane is much better if it is safe to do so. Oh, and you don’t have to show off your loud mufflers as you pass.  https://georgiabikes.org/resources/georgia-bike-laws/

Passing on hills or sharp curves is dangerous for everyone. If you can’t see what’s coming, be patient and enjoy the ride in your car with AC, watching me struggle up a hill in the heat. 

Fourways and roundabouts. Simple, give me the lane. It won’t take much time; I want to move through quickly, and I appreciate this one. 

BTW, blowing your horn don’t make my legs move faster. If you see me on the road and want to wave, great, I will wave back. Your horn can startle me and cause a wreck. If you must blow that horn do it after you pass me. 

Flick me off.

I get it you may be having a bad day, and I and my spandex add to it. So I receive your finger with compassion and wish you the best. Just give me a little room. 

And if you are just an angry person and want to cause issues with me on my bike, please know you and your car win every time. Also, listen to the song #TryJesus -Tobe Nwigwe

Remember, my name is Steven, and I Love my family and life, most likely just like you. 

#everycyclisthasaname 

What can you do to make the roads safe for everyone? 

Thanksgiving

Faith, Family, General

Psalm 50:23 (a)
But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me

It is the human condition to complicate things. I raise my hand. As a person who sometimes teaches the truth to others, I have been very guilty of this.
After all, it seems like such a huge thing to share the very word of God. To have God himself speak through you sounds very overwhelming to me and a little scary. There are situations recorded in the Bible where ppl have been struck dead on the spot for misrepresenting God. Sign me up, right… ?? ha, no thanks.
But the cool thing is we are the ones He has chosen to use—all of our faults and all of our humanity. Also, the cool thing about grace is that if we offer it with a pure heart, He honors it. Like a kindergartener offering his parent a masterpiece that he drew in art class. (Think back to making a turkey out of your traced hand) the gospel message is straightforward; it’s just not easy. We are the ones that put rules and regulations and qualifiers on it. The message is simple… Love me, love others, help those in need, and truly be thankful.

This is the season to pause and reflect on how good our Father is to each of us. His goodness goes way deeper and way beyond accumulating“stuff!”
He has made hope and peace and healing and strength available to us. He helps us carry our burdens and those things that are too hard for us to carry on our own. He promised to be right there with us even if we have to walk in the very shadow of death.

Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

He promises to love us unconditionally when we don’t deserve it and to never leave us no matter where we may find ourselves. There is no darkness that is too dark to Him.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
(Psalm 139:11)

As we bring all our things to Jesus in worship and as a sacrifice this thanksgiving season,
Let us remember the power of a genuinely thankful heart.
Thankfulness makes what we have enough.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season?

Nikki

Stretchy pants can be deceiving.

Faith, Family, Fitness, General, ,

One thing I’ve learned in quarantine is that stretchy pants can be deceiving.

See, the thing with stretchy pants is the elastic in the waist allows them to expand. Therefore, our expanding waistline under the stretchy-ness of those comfortable pants can increase without our knowledge. 

It’s not until you go to put on actual pants (without an elastic waist) that you realize, um, “these jeans use to not be this hard to button!”  Who put my pants in the dryer?

Our bodies are made for tension. They grow under stress. Whether it’s birthing babies, trying to finally get those coveted abs, training for a race, or studying for a test. It’s in the hard things we do that keeps our minds sharp and our bodies healthy. 

From growing plants to forming diamonds, most good things only happen under tension. They have to be broken down to come back, and they come back better and stronger. 

When my son broke his collarbone playing football, the doctor told us that he most likely would never break that bone again. Why? Because after it’s been broken, it heals stronger than it was before. Our creator designed us that way. 

It’s not His will that we stay broken. 

The thing with comfort is that it can be deceptive because our minds and bodies need rest to heal. Here lies the tension. 

If we stay in something comfortable too long, our muscles will atrophy, and we will become weak in our ability to do hard things. And life, my friend, is full of hard things. 

Comfort in itself isn’t bad. I’ll be the first to say how much I love my stretchy pants. And we as humans all need to be comforted. It just can’t become our way of life. 

Being comfortable has a way of lulling us to sleep, and giving us a false sense of security, making us want to camp out. It’s a nice place to visit; you can’t build your house there. 

Being comfortable has a way of lulling us to sleep, and giving us a false sense of security Share on X

I dare to say all of us this year, in one way or another, have found ourselves in places where we have become too comfortable for too long. One more brownie, one more Netflix original series, ah, maybe we will catch church next Sunday. Can anyone relate? It is way to easy to do. 

But I would ask you to consider embracing the tension between comfort and growth. Absolutely enjoy a dessert and a good movie. By all means, take the time to be with your friends and family. But also make it a point to grow!

Go for a daily walk. Read a good book. Eat a vegetable every now and then. And most importantly, spend time in the presence of Jesus and the Word every day. This is where real change happens. We all want change; it’s just harder (uncomfortable) to do the changing. 

But, no doubt, it’s worth the effort. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-7 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6 Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. 7 We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

Where have you gotten too comfortable?

No Altar Needed

Faith, Family, General,

3-4 minute read – A short story my salvation Experience **Warning unconventional salvation**

1992 – I was walking into the courthouse to settle a simple infraction. You can’t just cuss people and walk away. The crime, “fighting words.”
(How many people would this affect today).
You do the crime; you do time! Well, the results were just community service and a fine.
As we, my dad and I were settling the misdemeanor, the clerk asked if I knew another Steven Hedgecoth in the area.
“Nope, I’m the only one,” I said with pride.
“Well, I have a warrant for his arrest,” she flatly replied.
My dad looked at me with a crazy and confused face.
My response came quickly, “it must be another Steven!”

As you probably guessed, there wasn’t another Steven. The arrest warrant was for me for something I had done a few days prior. I was being charged with aggravated assault and reckless conduct.
I was involved, but not alone. The incident happened, just not as the police reported it.

I never once prayed or considered anything spiritual. Hard heart, I guess. But Jesus has a way of softening things.

A few weeks later, my grandfather and I arrived at the courthouse and met the lawyer my mom made me hire. He repeatedly told me not to speak during the session; he would do all the talking. We would be in and out. The first court date was just a pre-trial session. “Not much to do, the case will go to a superior court,” said my fine lawyer.
As we walked into the courtroom, the scene was just like what you see in the movies. I saw the bailiff, prosecutor, and the arresting detective. I could hear the jail cell doors open and close in the background.
However, the judge was a substitute that day; not good. The replacement judge wouldn’t know the details of the case. As you can imagine, this was not a confidence booster.
And as I remember, the substitute judge was the biggest African American man I had ever seen. He was probably a regular guy, but to my 16-year-old eyes, he was huge.

This day wasn’t going as planned. My lawyer was nervous; I could see him physically shaking. The judge is out, and the substitute judge looks like a giant.
Let the case begin!

I set and listened to the charges and what they said I did. Some I agreed with, some I wanted to yell “objection!” Back and forth, they went for what seemed like hours. I thought this was going to be quick.

As I was listening to people argue my fate, I could hear something else. I don’t know if it was real or just in my head, but I could hear my grandfather praying. Which then provoked me to want to pray. So, I asked God to get me out of this mess. I even tried to make a deal with God. It went something like this, “God, if you get me out of this, I will serve you the rest of my life!”

In hindsight, that was a very arrogant prayer to pray. I acted as if I had something to offer God, and he needed to strike a deal with me. God, you need me; instead of God, I need you.

About that time, the judge asked me to stand, and he started asking me questions. Remember, I was told not to speak. But when the guy in charge of your future asks questions, you answer.
Is everything in the case covered financially? He asked.
“Yes,” was the response from my lawyer.
Steven, I hope you have learned your lesson.
“Yes,” was my reply.
Case dismissed! Bang with the gavel.

Wait, what? That’s it? Is it over?
I asked one of the officers on the way out, “can I leave?” Yes, he said.
My lawyer was so shocked and still physically shaking; he asked if I could buy him a coke. Something was wrong with this guy.

At that moment, I knew something supernatural had happened. I didn’t understand the grace that I was shown that day. But I walked out of that courtroom free and determined to keep my end of the deal.

I didn’t go to the altar, I found the grace of Jesus in a courtroom.

About a year later, Nikki and I were attending a small church service when someone prophesied over us that we would soon serve the Lord in ministry with our lives, full time. Neither of us had thought about ministry at this point. We just knew there was a radical change that had taken place in our lives, and we were just along for the ride. We had experienced God’s faithfulness, so we were down for whatever He wanted. We trusted Him. So we said yes. And we continued to say yes.

Zechariah 3:2 And the LORD said to Satan, “I, the LORD, reject your accusations, Satan. Yes, the LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you. This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from the fire.”

I was a stick burning, and God snatched me from the fire!

Racism Sucks

Faith, Family, General, ,

Hey, have you heard the one about 2 white boys and a ni****?

Proceeds to tell the joke. Then sheepishly looks over at me,

“oh, I’m sorry, Nikki,” or

Hey, I can’t get these lights to work, I say we just ni*** rig it.

“Oh, sorry, Nikki.”

Should my offense be at the joke or the apology? Or should I be offended at all? Strong Christians don’t get offended! And an apology makes it ok, right?I mean, what kind of person doesn’t accept an apology?

And after all, it was just a joke! You’re too sensitive.
Can’t you take a joke?

I know it may be hard to believe, but I would never have even thought these comments to be considered racist until a few months ago.
Because this was how I was raised. These comments came from church people, friends, and loved ones who I know for a fact would never have done anything to purposely hurt me.
We are in the Deep South.
It was a different time back then….. I could go on and on with the excuses.

But now, here we are. 2020 Need I say more.

Racism sucks your self-worth!
Recently, By talking to friends and seeing the actual pain and anger from racism and injustice, something began to stir inside me. Something deep down that I had to keep smothered for survival. Something I never even realized was there. I always felt like this wasn’t my fight. One of the hard things about being multi-racial; is knowing what “team” you’re on. Knowing who’s got your back or who’s fighting with you or for you. This can be incredibly confusing when all the faces closest to you don’t look like you.

Racism sucks your clarity!
Where do I stand? Who am I?
I had an adorable blonde-haired boy tell me one time that he thought I was pretty and he wanted to be my boyfriend. But first, he needed to know what I “was.”
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that question. (there would be no more world hunger)
That question became a hole in my soul and left me in a real identity crisis.

Racism sucks your identity.
I could give you story after story of the things I’ve endured that have left scars on my soul. As I’m sure, many of you can as well. But that’s not what I want you to take away. Maybe that will come later in my novel. (Haha)

But for now, I want you to know that it is only through Christ that I have overcome, and I am continuing to overcome this crisis of identity.
You will only find yourself, your true identity, in Christ, your maker!

I was His excellent idea!
He shaped me, formed me, and made me like I am on purpose and for a purpose.

Jeremiah 1:5(a) – I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.

Jeremiah 29:11- I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Psalm 139:13-18
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!

Racism has sucked some things from me, but God restores and gives back more than what was stolen.
This is where I put my hope and find my identity!

“We will overcome what divides us by the power of the cross.”

I wanna hear from you…. comment and tell me what has racism “sucked” from you?

*When you purchase a tee-shirt, a portion of the proceeds will go to a local charity

Stronger Connection

Family, General, Uncategorized,

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT

I love the practicality of Paul’s words of encouragement. Don’t worry instead, pray, tell and thank!

Is it really that easy? Maybe we should try and see if it works.

Pray about everything is simply allowing God space in your life. Staying constantly connected.
Tell– This is all about getting to the root of a request. Remove the whining, complaining, manipulation and simply tell God what do you need? Or, what you think you need.
Thank God for what He has already done. Gratitude is the enemy of worry!

I believe Pray, Tell, and Thank helps cultivate a stronger relationship with God which leads to peace (v7).

But wait!

If this simple idea works with our relationship with God, I wonder if it would work with other relationships? Consider your closest relationship may be a spouse, a close friend, or a family member.

What if we created space for others in our everyday, busy lives? What would it look like to strive for a more consistent connection?

We all have needs and request. Sometimes in relationships, we use negative tools like manipulation and criticism to try to get what we need. What would it look like to make a simple request?
I need __________. This seems like it would be easier. However, this would force me to really consider what I need and communicate it but, maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Gratitude is the key to strength in any relationship. Tell someone how grateful you are for them. Get back to the simple, strong words “thank you!” Thank you for loving me. I am grateful that you are in my life.

These ideas could cultivate a stronger relationship with God and each other.

Give it a try!

Growth Plan Part 1

Faith, Family, Finances, Fitness, Uncategorized, , ,

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. Benjamin Franklin

Every year we have a new opportunity to revise our plans. At the end of one year, we can look back and examine what worked and what didn’t. Then make adjustments and grow into a new year.

We don’t want to drift into a new year just like we wouldn’t drift down a white-water river. Drifting leads to circles which leads to everything flipping over. Did you see Bird Box? We must be intentional about our growth.

Growth requires a mindset and a plan. In Carol Dweck’s book Mindsets, she describes two basic mindsets fixed and growth.
A fixed mindset assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static which we can’t change in any meaningful way.
A growth mindset, on the other hand, thrives on challenges and sees failure as a springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.

Check out Mindset book here.

Our lives are designed to grow. (Think Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.) God has created us in His image. We have His appearance and his character.
This must be developed.
God has also called us to work and care for His creation.
We are created to bring order to the chaos. We are called to create.
This will require us to grow/learn.

Growth is at the foundation of who we are.

Because we are multifaceted people, consider these five areas for growth.
Spiritual Life
Relational Life
Physical Life (Health)
Emotional Life (Mental Health)
Financial Life (Money-Career)

Let’s grow stronger and better in the new year!

This is part 1 of a series of post about developing a growth plan.

grow.wood.jpg

Stressmas

Faith, Family, Uncategorized, ,

The Christmas season is here. Are you ready?

Isn’t it crazy how this season full of joy, hope, and celebration can cause so much stress? It seems like we work for Christmas rather than celebrate it. We will struggle through the season and after all is done, we can say “We Survived Christmas!” We get so wrapped up in the system of the season that stress is the norm.

What causes you stress during the season?

Here are a few simple reminders and a little ordinary wisdom that can help take the stress out of the season and keep Christmas alive.

Remember what Christmas is all about. Take a minute and watch this clip of Linus’s speech in the classic “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

Build Family Traditions. Every year we try to have friends over for a pancake breakfast. We also have a family tradition that includes unique tree ornaments and pjs. Memories over stuff.

Plan. Spending seems to be part of the system of Christmas. So, make sure you have a plan and a budget. Don’t give yourself debt to give someone a gift. Debt can happen when we give out of guilt or impulse spend.
I shared a few ideas for saving money here. Check it out.

Remember, Build, and Plan.

How do you keep the meaning of Christmas alive?

Celebrating Life Together

Family, Finances,

Recently Nikki and I celebrated a date night together and had a fantastic time. It was actually 23 hours packed full of conversations, romance, and just pure enjoyment. So…
Today I wanted to lay out a few ideas that would help improve your date nights or simply improve your life!

Manage your Margins
What makes life enjoyable is having time to enjoy life! What makes a date night fantastic is having money set aside to enjoy! Having margins in our life allows us to move easily and spend freely. Don’t let the walls of busyness and poor budgeting keep you from enjoying life! Because Nikki and I routinely date and set money aside for those dates it was no problem when I said let’s get away for the night.
Try this -Set one day a week aside for you and yours to date. Even if you have been married for 25 years pick a day and stick to it. Set a budget. You’re going to spend the money somewhere why not on something you enjoy! (If you don’t enjoy your spouse that’s a different issue that needs to be addressed)
Manage your time and money in such a way that there are margins (room to move).

Invest in Experiences
The rooms at the Westin in downtown Atlanta gives you a floor to ceiling view of the city. The view is the experience. It was a great investment. We could have easily rented a room just for the bed and shower but, what’s the fun in that? Having a memorable story to tell is far better. Nikki and I have practiced this over and over. I can tell you stories of zip lining, hiking, fine dining, and views from the top of the Empire State Building. Good experiences are worth the investment.
Try this – Go to the theater instead of the movies. Go on a day hike. Rent a hotel room with a view!

 

Try Something New
I have always wanted to try a restaurant that had live music. Like the jazz club, you see in the movies. I can’t sing or dance, but I love music. We finally made it happen. A completely new experience for us. We visited a “Juke Joint” and set at a table right in the front. It was great. We even tried some new food (collard green egg rolls).
I like things to be comfortable. However, comfortable will only allow you to experience what you already know. There is so much in our beautiful world to be explored.
Try this- Go to a new city and try a new restaurant.

I believe we should enjoy the life God has given us. I also look for treasures along the journey.

So, what does this look like for you? I would encourage you to resist the common response “this sounds like a good idea” and do nothing.

Let me know how you celebrate your life?